Four Things We Tried to Master at This Hotel
The Zen Garden Omakase Gamble: We bet that a curated tasting menu would finally force us to act like adults, hoping the scent of toasted sesame and the hushed, minimalist atmosphere would stop us from roasting each other's life choices. The plan failed miserably, but the seafood was so transcendent that we actually fell silent for ten minutes—a new record for this group. "Just eat," I whispered, the cool weight of a handmade ceramic plate grounding me as we surrendered to the flavors.
The August Onsen Endurance Test: We decided to see who could survive the outdoor hot spring pools the longest while 29-degree humidity tried to dissolve us into the pavement. We entered the sulfur-scented steam with bravado, but within minutes, we were melting like wax figures in a microwave. We retreated to the room in a collective, sweaty defeat, realizing the only true luxury in Yilan is an air conditioner blasting at full speed.
The Poetic Coastline Wander: We tried the "soulful traveler" aesthetic, walking toward the shoreline to watch the surfers under a blinding, white-hot August sun. It was a disaster; the salty breeze felt more like a hairdryer, and we complained every three steps, our shoes crunching on the hot asphalt. Why am I doing this? I wondered, realizing the only way to survive this heat is to stay within arm's reach of a condensation-covered glass of iced tea.
The 3 AM Existential Crisis: We attempted a deep, soulful conversation in our room, leaning against beds so plush they felt like they were trying to swallow us whole. We managed two minutes of genuine sincerity—the dim amber light casting long shadows across the carpet—before someone brought up a dating fail from 2019. We spent the rest of the night laughing until we collapsed into the crisp, white linens, the sound of our wheezing echoing in the quiet hall like a broken accordion.
The Final Scoreboard
The most honest part was the collapse of our itinerary. The Zen Garden won, the onsen was a joke. Yet, the stillness of Hotel Royal Chiao Hsi and its hushed SPA became the highlight. Home wasn't the architecture, but our shared exhaustion.
Beads of cold water on a dark wooden table.
- Try the Zen Garden tasting menu and the handmade plates.
- Visit the outdoor pools at dawn before the humidity peaks.